el sol brilla mas no lo siento

today is a very sad day. my energy feels zapped. it really does. the sun is shining. i should be the happiest person in the world. but for right now. i just don't feel it. the best thing about me is that I easily forget things. in an hour or so I will have forgotten this whole incident. is that good? i really do not know. it can be. it has its ups and downs. do i just choose to forget? who really knows.

i come home to an empty house
search the fridge for scraps
hunt for the next meal
it still does not make it any easier
may it be a daily affair
or just for today


how much of this is my own prison? how much is invented by me. i contemplate the earths rotation. maybe it is el niño having an effect. i feel alone sometimes when there is so many things going on. i know i really should not. there are tons of people around. the internet makes it impossible to drown out the noise. the television does not help. i tell myself "you have to turn off the tv" my mind answers " i know, but it means i have to get off the couch". instantly i am amazed at the slothfullness. so much for getting into my yellow pokadot bikini. i am bordering on a emotional breakdown. i must sign off. besides...i am actually at work. i guess i should actually work.