inspiration...
dear bloggers,
i have nothing...i mean really nothing. lets start with my ride home. i came down ogden on my bike. a little after kedzie to my surprise is this white girl in scrubs walking down the street going the opposite way. in an instant, i thought a million thoughts. what are you doing here? you do not belong. i mean neither do i, but she really does not belong. i determine where she is going and what her life entails. part of me falls in love with her for a brief moment. she decided to walk down poverty lane and see it up front and personal. the boarded up houses mingled with the only one house on the block while the corners are littered with sandwich shops and fry pits. chicken and fish frying establishment willing to serve you their finest cuisine behind a bullet proof glass. she was pretty.
the power of the mind. in a brief two to three second span, i have made assumptions and fallen in love. next topic. love is beautiful. it is great and i could fall in love with everyone. why am i so easily persuaded to fall into temptation? i spoke to a co-worker, Whispering Muse during lunch about relationships and how we treat ourselves and tolerate abuse based on how we see and what we think we deserve. her ideation is as follows...an abused person will stay with an abusive spouse because they perceive themselves as the other sees them. they let the other person be abusive because they believe what the abuser is telling them. an example and abusive spouses yells at them that they are good for nothing and hits them. the abused believes they are good for nothing and aggrees with the abuser that they are good for nothing. to me it defies logic. i'm not sure what led to this topic. i like Whispering Muse because she can peer into my mind and can give me insight. sometimes i need this. i have never had someone sort of analyze me. i usually am the one analysing them.
conversations...before i continue. i would like to relate an interesting interaction. lets flashback to sometime during the summer. client comes in to discuss their account. they want to make sure everything is being processed in a timely manner. i was feeling good this day. so...i decided to make sure to baby sit this account and monitor everything was going smoothly. i even worked my magic and made it happen. her comment was (of course it had to be a woman, after all you are always the center of my attention), "nice ring". i respond, "why thank you, my mother brought it back for me from mexico. i can never find these kind of thick rings in the good ol' us of a". she tells me with her beautiful blue eyes,"my grandfather makes these all the time". i respond " wow that is really cool". "i will have him make one for you", she tells me. most of my clients will tell me they will bring me coffee next time for helping them out. some will promise cubs tickets and other things. i usually never believe them. so...to make a long story longer, she steps into the office and tells me that she has been looking for me. "here i have something for you" and she produces a little package wrapped in tissue. it was a silver ring. it was a silver ring like the other one i have. i thanked her and she left. it was a really nice gesture. i was totally not expecting it.
anyway, conversations...i was about to reflect on how long it has been since i was out on the town with either thai girl or elle to a cafe. hanging out sipping some coffee with a crisp and toasted scone with either whipped cream and/or jelly at ear wax cafe. talking about life and the complications it has come to since high school. how simplistic life was back then and how complex we let our lives get. there was smoke convesations about sex, drugs, and love.
flashback to the late 90's, fobia takes the stage and rocks out to the album Leche. i buy a whole bunch of spanish rock and listen to them via cassette and cd's. there were buffy girls that look like buffy before she was famous. there were muses that inspired me to change and love and smoke. was i happy then? i really do not remember. i had some good times. i would have loved to have more good times.
nevertheless, love is at the center of it all. my love for women. my love for writing. my love for adventures. my love for fantasies. my love for art. my love for this restless soul of mine. the constant search for happiness. in hopes to discover the beauty in words. a face. a gesture bringing humanity to a lost world. yearning for that which i can not have. the drama that seems to unfold only to be revealed that it was non existant. the million glances given to others while walking and talking to others. the contant yearning to feel her. to touch her lips her face. caress her hair. the chains i must fasten on my soul to avoid any invasion of spaces. the energy that surges from her smile. i thinks i am slowly starting to lose myself. my coherence is no longer there. it is snipets of thoughts. i will end it here. gracias for la compania bloggers. have a good weekend.
Santiago
i have nothing...i mean really nothing. lets start with my ride home. i came down ogden on my bike. a little after kedzie to my surprise is this white girl in scrubs walking down the street going the opposite way. in an instant, i thought a million thoughts. what are you doing here? you do not belong. i mean neither do i, but she really does not belong. i determine where she is going and what her life entails. part of me falls in love with her for a brief moment. she decided to walk down poverty lane and see it up front and personal. the boarded up houses mingled with the only one house on the block while the corners are littered with sandwich shops and fry pits. chicken and fish frying establishment willing to serve you their finest cuisine behind a bullet proof glass. she was pretty.
the power of the mind. in a brief two to three second span, i have made assumptions and fallen in love. next topic. love is beautiful. it is great and i could fall in love with everyone. why am i so easily persuaded to fall into temptation? i spoke to a co-worker, Whispering Muse during lunch about relationships and how we treat ourselves and tolerate abuse based on how we see and what we think we deserve. her ideation is as follows...an abused person will stay with an abusive spouse because they perceive themselves as the other sees them. they let the other person be abusive because they believe what the abuser is telling them. an example and abusive spouses yells at them that they are good for nothing and hits them. the abused believes they are good for nothing and aggrees with the abuser that they are good for nothing. to me it defies logic. i'm not sure what led to this topic. i like Whispering Muse because she can peer into my mind and can give me insight. sometimes i need this. i have never had someone sort of analyze me. i usually am the one analysing them.
conversations...before i continue. i would like to relate an interesting interaction. lets flashback to sometime during the summer. client comes in to discuss their account. they want to make sure everything is being processed in a timely manner. i was feeling good this day. so...i decided to make sure to baby sit this account and monitor everything was going smoothly. i even worked my magic and made it happen. her comment was (of course it had to be a woman, after all you are always the center of my attention), "nice ring". i respond, "why thank you, my mother brought it back for me from mexico. i can never find these kind of thick rings in the good ol' us of a". she tells me with her beautiful blue eyes,"my grandfather makes these all the time". i respond " wow that is really cool". "i will have him make one for you", she tells me. most of my clients will tell me they will bring me coffee next time for helping them out. some will promise cubs tickets and other things. i usually never believe them. so...to make a long story longer, she steps into the office and tells me that she has been looking for me. "here i have something for you" and she produces a little package wrapped in tissue. it was a silver ring. it was a silver ring like the other one i have. i thanked her and she left. it was a really nice gesture. i was totally not expecting it.
anyway, conversations...i was about to reflect on how long it has been since i was out on the town with either thai girl or elle to a cafe. hanging out sipping some coffee with a crisp and toasted scone with either whipped cream and/or jelly at ear wax cafe. talking about life and the complications it has come to since high school. how simplistic life was back then and how complex we let our lives get. there was smoke convesations about sex, drugs, and love.
flashback to the late 90's, fobia takes the stage and rocks out to the album Leche. i buy a whole bunch of spanish rock and listen to them via cassette and cd's. there were buffy girls that look like buffy before she was famous. there were muses that inspired me to change and love and smoke. was i happy then? i really do not remember. i had some good times. i would have loved to have more good times.
nevertheless, love is at the center of it all. my love for women. my love for writing. my love for adventures. my love for fantasies. my love for art. my love for this restless soul of mine. the constant search for happiness. in hopes to discover the beauty in words. a face. a gesture bringing humanity to a lost world. yearning for that which i can not have. the drama that seems to unfold only to be revealed that it was non existant. the million glances given to others while walking and talking to others. the contant yearning to feel her. to touch her lips her face. caress her hair. the chains i must fasten on my soul to avoid any invasion of spaces. the energy that surges from her smile. i thinks i am slowly starting to lose myself. my coherence is no longer there. it is snipets of thoughts. i will end it here. gracias for la compania bloggers. have a good weekend.
Santiago
posted by Santiago at 8:42 PM
3 Comments:
Santiago, eres un poeta. "My love for this restless soul of mine," when you create you elevate yourself and please the Universe. We want to live a thousand lives in one life time.
"it is snipets of thoughts"...i'm fond of those snipets...from a snipet i can create a whole new world....i can pin those snipets into a pretty poem....those snipets make me happy especially when wrapped in love
thank u for this post...i needed that!
it is so true, mariposa. in the endless mind, i have lived many different lives. i have been a vampire. i have been a rebel with a cause. too many to really list.
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