it's saturday night...

well...it is and I am home alone. no kids no wife and no one to keep me company. it happens. the unexpected moments when you are all alone. there are no responsibilities. i download some music. i drink some tequila withe pepsi one. actually, let me refresh that glass. i'm back. i have just drank three pepsi one's with about 5 to 6 shots of tequila. i know i should stop but i just can't. es mi tiempo para deshogarme de todo lo que tengo adentro. i have not really had a moment to reflect or really just be myself. am i an alcoholic? maybe...i really don't think so. i really need to take care of myself. you see i am a diabetic. i really should not be drinking. i really should be exercising. i should be watching what i eat and not pigging out on sweets and all the arrachera. i love it though. the arrachera. the best meat out there cooked on a grill with some chiles gueros. there really is no point. I am just really typing and spilling me guts out. i have not really been touched by death. i do thank my lucky stars. i have not had to endure that sort of pain. i have only endured the pain of loss of love and being in a relationship that may have died a long time ago. maybe i should stop. i should not go on anymore. it can incriminate a person. i can't bear her cries and her hanging on to a love that is not there.

Billy Corgan rocks. Thanks Dr. Vodka for reminding me of how great this man is. Here is my Billy Corgan Siting. It was 1994. I was a Freshman in HS. I know that is a long time ago. There was this guy named Mike. Mike was a burnout in HS. I thought he was an interesting guy. He loved this group. A group called Smashing Pumpkins. He was raving about this band. I should go see them at the Rose Records that used to be on Belmont and Ashland. I went and to my surprise got a chance to see Smashing Pumpkins when they were promoting their Ghish album. It was the best time of my life. I got to see them play live. Well...it was one of the best times of my life. I got to see Billy Corgan and Darcy play live. I had no money to buy their Ghish album. I really do not remember why. I was a poor mexican boy. I could have had their album autographed by the band. It would have been great. I had the Maldita Vecindad Album Monstrous signed by that band, but I have managed to lose it. I have a lot my great CD's lost. I do not know where they have gone. Well...that is my Billy Corgan and Smashing Pumpkins Story. It is a really nice one. I guess I do have stories. I just need to remember them. You member, member.