Learning...

I miss you today! I have tried to occupy my mind with all sort of nonsense. Still...my thoughts come back to you. I need to learn to function without you. I need to scrape you from my thoughts. I am wondering what you are doing at this precise moment. I am sure you are not thinking of me. I chant your name in the hopes that you think of me. I don't think it works like that. Still...I try. I am sure you are thinking I am pathetic. Even I am thinking I am pathetic.

I ask myself this, what is the difference between obsession or normal behaviour. Further, what is the difference between love and lust? What defines each and how are they different? Which one is harder to maintain?

I heard you moved on...

It was the right thing to do. I don't doubt it. Your heart is no longer mine. I am not sure it ever was. Still...I have to dream with my memories. There are no pictures. There are no letters. All I have is what I choose to remember. Holding hands in the park. It seemed eternal.

Nothing was going to tear us apart. We thought we could face the world. Maybe these were more my thoughts than yours. I don't hate you. Nor will I ever. I will keep these fond memories and come back to them. I will let them filter into my consciousness. Smile and continue on.

The only thing left is for me to go. Let my atoms disperse into the wind.

Ha pasado mucho tiempo

Todavia sigo aqui. Esperando que me des el tiempo. Pero tu vista ni pasa por mi. Debo entender que tengo muchas restricciones. No se puede por esta, otra, varias razones. Yo se. El tiempo no ha pasiguado el impulso de verte y de sentirte. Cerrar los ojos he imaginar el olor de tu piel. Tu esencia que ha permiado mi consciencia. Saturando mis pensamientos.

Juego al juego de no pensar en ti. Una obsession inutil por solo un dia de esplandor. Meses enteros pensando en ti y pensando que nada pasara. Y ese dia pasamos una noche inocente. Reimos juntos. Senti algo agarrado de la mano. Pero solo fue un fantasma de lo que pudo ser. Momento visperal. Algo que paso y se fue. Dejando en el polvo solo las ilusiones de algo mas.

Como puedo conseguir la paz? Llegar al dia donde no piense en ti. Acabar de mentir a mi mismo.