the ship of fools

I was thinking the other day. I was listening to a podcast or maybe even reading a book. The thought was love is a fools game. I don't really remember the context. I just came away with this idea. I am okay being the fool. We have to be in order to believe in love.

I told a friend. "Sometimes it helps to get a crumb to help paint the bigger picture. Well...the one we want". What does it mean? It means that my heart needs a proverbial crumb. It helps me paint the picture of what I want to see. The smile she gave me...even if it isn't really for me or there at all. It could be the broken radio silence from her. She knows I am there!! I know it is foolish. Given my circumstances. This is the life I was given. I can't change it. It is how I think. It is how I am. I can't change it. I am the eternal fool sailing on this uncharted water of life.

Me acuerdo...

Los tiempos de platicas a toda hora del dia. Recuerdo como robamos un vistazo. Tratando de ver el reconocimiento de que piensas en mi. La ilusion en vano. Pero no vivo en la realidad. Sino en los sueños de los pobres. Que se imagina en cuantos milagros.

This is what my soul misses. Sparked by the millions of Cure songs on my car stereo. Or the occasional Smashing Pumpkins song. As I waited, the last few minutes of your shift before the night would begin for us. I contemplate all these memories. How did we get this far apart? Incidentally, a title of another Cure song. Instead, we no longer go for walks. We no longer indulge ourselves in banter over nothing. Instead, we pretend all is right with the world.