I think I am depressed.

Sonrisa would argue that I am bipolar and I need medication. Honestly, bring on the drugs. LOL. I am dealing with a crazy job where upper management seems to have their head up their ass. I am tired all the time cause I have a 5 month old newborn. My kids are getting to a stage that I don't really know how to relate to them. I feel like I am yelling at them all the time because they don't listen to me. My wife and I feel like ghost passing each other up in the halls. I did party last week. I think I went out 4 days out of the week. I spent way too much. My bank statements make me cry when I get close to payday. It is almost close to zero.

My wants are not things I need. They are in no particular order: Monte Carlo 1963 car with nice audio system, 50+ inch TV with HDTV built in, my own home, a new computer with a video card, a new laptop, and an Iphone.

Things that make you go huh.

I have been feeling better. Riding my bike is really helping. When I go out. I always have a good time. Especially when it is with Sonrisa and Ygirl. I have very different views from most men. I will not discuss them now. You can ask me at any time. There were many scenarios played out. Some were verbal scenarios and others were in my head. It was making them and I crack up out loud. I think everytime I go to Union Park there is a good time had by all. Chanclita, I tried the Nachos w steak. They were the bomb. OMG!!! If you are ever in the city and by the west loop stop by and get some nachos. They rock!! The thing about wednesdays is that Chocolate Martinis are $3 and appetizers are half off. You got to love it. Oh yeah...a miracle occured. I did not have to pay for anything. Ygirl picked up my half of the tab. I was so amazed. She always tells me she is going to pay, but almost never does. I think it occured once. Still I had them cracking up. If any of you know me, you know how retarded I can be. LOL! Still, I was surprised. I think Ygirl never really understood how close Sonrisa and I are. Sonrisa brought it to my attention. She caught that from Ygirl. I sensed it too, but I was having fun. Oh btw, I have a couple of friends that rarely ever meet each other. This is one of those reasons. One is jealous of the other or other little problems occur. I learned this in college. My Sol met La italiana and all hell broke loose. This said, I try not to do it.

In other news, Sol contacted me. She an old high school friend. She was those girls that use you like a boyfriend without all the benefits. Great time in my life, not!!! We had a conversation about old times, significant others, and life. It was funny. I made some comments and she felt a little apprehensive of the situation. I had to tell her that I dont like love her anymore. I am not madly in love with you. I hope you do know that. I may have been in high school. Not anymore.
She relaxed after that. I was like ok...you are not that good. LOL. I know I am horrible. I will leave you on that note.

Memories of them...

It is funny being a parent. Memories of my kids come flooding in to my brain. I just remembered my newborn son. He is four months now. He is laying in bed with the wife. He is sleeping. He looked so cute. He was waking, but sleeping. You know...when they pop an eye open, then they close it. It was too cute. I was just thinking about my other two kids. Memories came flooding in of them. How my daughter crinkled her nose and use to pop up saying tada. LOL! My oldest son used to rub his nose when he was tired. I love it cause he had his little curly hair. I know I don't forget them, but they are dormant in the back of my mind. I love it when they surface at any given time.

free-typing...

no tengo nada concreto que escribir. solo que disfrutamos una noche de parrilla al aire libre el domingo. estuvo de maravilla. vino Sonrisa. reimos de muchas cosas. teniamos dos perra policias en nuestra fiesta. uno con cual bromia que era puñal. no lo es por que esta casado con Whispering M. pero es muy timido. creo que tendra cosas en ese cranio que no quiere dejar salir. igual que yo. no lo culpo. ha servido en la guerra. ahora es un policia. pobre...los demonios no lo dejan.


me he sentido solo. la mayoria del tiempo me la paso cuidando a mi hijo. me siento mal porque mis otros hijos sienten mi ausensia. ayer deje que mi mamá cuide al niño un rato para jugar beisbol con mi hijo. solo lanze pocas por que teniamos que irnos. el niño se habia durmido. es un borlote navegarlo cuando esta gritando su pobre cabezita chica. el no tiene la culpa. solo busca comida o esta cansado. me encantan los bebes a esta edad. especialmente mi cacheton. lo llamo mi muñeco lindo. siempre se rie al verme. tal vez este llorando...pero sonrie y sigue llorando.