Un Fantasma

Anoche soñe que embaraze a una chica del trabajo. Lo extraño fue que mi suegra estaba contenta. Ahora quiero ser un fantasma. No se de donde viene esta tristeza. Estoy cansado. Trabaje en mi jardin y mi pasto todo el fin de semana. Necesita mucho trabajo. Sacando las yerbas. Pero ahora se mira bonito. Me gustaria tener un jardin zen. Para contemplar mi vida. Para pensar en lo que es necesario para mi felicidad.

Un Amargo Adios...

No me dijiste adios.
Solo me dejaste con la luz apagada.
El vacio que me llena ahora
Soledad ahora lo ocupa

Obsession...

It was a topic of conversation recently. I was speaking to a fellow Taurus. I asked her is it normal that we obsess over certain things and sometimes people. I was also commenting to her that my obsession lately is my back yard. I get lost day dreaming about it. I have even thought of improvements to the area on the side of my garage. It seems to flood when ever it rains. It is annoying, because throwing the garbage gets to be a chore.

Right now I am fluctuating between this project and others. Home improvements. I will find myself lost in thought. It is quite funny. I never thought myself as a do it yourself type of guy. Here I am day dreaming about mixing cement. Borrowing a guy to use his cement mixer. lol.

I want the grill that makes me feel

Apparently, my little one calls girls, grills. It was quite funny. I was informed my 13yr old. The 3 yr old is adorable. I wish you guys could see him. He is just plain old beautiful. It is a shame that they outgrow that fairly soon. I have my 13 year old that was once cute and awesome like that. I love him too. It is just the fighting between him and the sister is unbearable. Granted. My daughter is a crier. Is it okay to say that? Sure. The other day I was sitting in the room with my youngest. We are watching the best summer movie ever. The Sandlot. Apparently my older kids were watching it one day downstairs and my 3 yr old Eli caught it with them. So...that lead to countless watching of the movie. We had to curtail it a little because he began saying the word Shit. *mouth open*. I know. It was horrible. I told him. We can't say that word. It is a bad word. He only said it two more times. Still...the damage is done. Flashes forward to a potty mouth 4 yr old. lol.

At any rate, all I hear is her wailing. I get upset because I know he is a bully to her. Granted she is just trying to bother him. So...I am enjoying a nice moment with Eli and I hear her wailing. I run over to see him running up the stairs. I assumed he did something so I hit him. Mind you...it was not closed fist or anything. I am sure it didnt even hurt him. Maybe more emotionally. It was his bday after all. I felt horrible. Come to find out...that he didnt do anything to her. He turned off the light and slammed door in front of her on the way up from basement. I didnt find this out til later once I calmed down and went and apologized to him. It was nice. We had a heart to heart conversation. I then go yell at her. Did he do anything to you? Did he hit you? I am talking to you. No answer. She finally musters a no. I then lecture her. You would think they would learn their lesson. Two days later. It is the same thing. I am trying to get ready for work. I am taking them to sitters and I hear her wailing again. I run up and I hit both of them this time. I tell them. I don't want to hear any more of this. Both of you respect each other. Otherwise, I am going to hit both of you. They have since calmed down. Lets see how long that lasts.

Lecture them both on the way to the sitters. They said they both understand. I told them it is only going to get more hectic in the morning guys!! School is going to start soon. I need everyone helping out. Otherwise, we will always be late and stressed out. I want to be able to trust you guys and get stuff done. We shall see how it goes.

Que belleza

Te veo con tu pelo chino. Me hace soñar contigo. La mente en las nubes. Me imagino el poder tener una intimidad nuestra. Donde solo nosotros conocemos el chiste. Te ries conmigo. En el cine. En la calle. En el parque. Que sueño dulce. Tan agridulce que me duele que no es real. Solo una ilusion de mi soledad. Para entretenerme.

Aunque en realidad ahorita mis sueños son de la agua que esta callendo. Me esta inundando mi pasillo al basurero. Necesito una forma de arreglar esa area. Tal vez una lona por mientras. No se.