Why would I want to want to do the dishes?

Speaking of wanting. I want you to want me. I have only been wanted very few times in my life. I can probably count them on my hand. Do not get me wrong. I am not like a hideous chud. I can look quite cute when I try. No matter how hard I try...I can not reach hot level. I need some serious time in a gym. Not to mention the willlingness to really want to be hot. I mean I want to be hot, but I do not really want to be hot. Okay...there are officially too many wants in this blog entry.

X-mas is here. It is around the corner. This year I did all my shopping on-line. I still have a few things to purchase. Those I will do the old-fashion way. Yes...I will brave it and head to the toy store or the clothing department. I am still trying to make up my mind on what to get them. My brother told me what he wanted. I think I spent way too much time on-line looking for the perfect gift for him without breaking the bank. I finally settled on some speakers that he can attach to the ipod. This way he can listen to his ipod in the bathroom while taking a shower.

I am now sort of crawling out of my own pit of madness. Unlike a superhero...it was just me. The song playing in the background is Disarm by Smashing Pumpkins. This is comfort music. Just like there is comfort food. This band is my confort band. I shake myself off and continue forward. Another piece of advice...do not eat yellow snow. Thanks for stopping by.

guilty pleasures

the last couple of days, i have been really bad. i was supposed to be at work. well...i was at work. the only difference is I was watching television. i was catching up on the Heroes show. i know. i am such a nerd. they are streaming all the episodes that have aired since the beginning. this helps cause i missed about 3 of the first episodes and forgot to tape some of the other episodes and maybe caught the last scenes. it made it easy to catch up.

i am missing a lot of people. this winter has isolated us all. this and no one seems to be blogging anymore. me included.

Dreams of her again...

Dreams of her still wash ashore. Every reminder of who I used to be. The night is her canvas my brain is the paint.

Here i am at work. I have to tell you. I have been dreaming a little bit. I guess that is a good thing. I am not sure. I just awoke this morning with a feeling of happiness. I dreamt about a girl. This girl has come up in my dreams before. The problem with this girl is that I do not know her. She has been in my dreams a couple of times. I really do not know what to make of it. We were in her state. She is not living here. We were visiting her and her family. She was very close to her family and she was showing us around her estate. It certainly seemed like a big place with a path. The path seemed kind of a normal area, but it also was part of an amusement park type haunted area. It was scary and interesting once I realized they were machines. We ended up in her living room on the floor. We were exchanging mp3. I was having a hard time telling her that I liked her and that I wanted all her cool mp3's. The only thing that is weird is that I saw her face. She has a beautiful smile. I really hope she comes to me again. In my dreams that is. She may not really exist. She may be a figment of my imagination. She may be mesh of a thousand women. I dont know.

Famous lines...

The kids have been on a Napoleon Dynamite kick. They have been spitting out some of his lines like "Lucky". "Gosh!" "Friggin idiot!" I think my all time favorite is "Do you ever take it on any sweet jumps?"

The holidays are around the corner. It seems unbelievable. Where has the year gone? I feel lost most of the time. I don't really know why. I am sure things can be better. I don't think we are truly ever satisfied.

I thought I was done with my holiday shopping. I need two more people, my son and nephew. I want some cinnamon tea. Just rambling. Thanks for listening.

the feel of something new...

so...i want to regress back to teenage years. i want to stay home plug in my ipod and just blare the music as loud as possible. well...til i hear ringing in my ear. lol!! ok...maybe a little short of ringing. i don't ge to do it anymore. my kids have one thing or another and require silence. bogus!! oh well...i think i have gone thru various mid-life crisis. i think i am just being me and breaking routine.

i began typing and thought of some lyrics. i think they are part of a Nine Inch Nail song. henceforth the title. i think Nine Inch Nail is a reflection of my thoughts at this moment. if you know the band, then you know what i mean. i do not really feel like diving into that can of worms.