el sueño con mi ex

so...i had a dream the other night. it had to do with an old friend and my ex. he used to be a really good friend. he had a kid. their kid was really fussy with other people. pero conmigo...the baby was very happy. smiling all the time. it was a very vivid and strange dream.

the next scene in my dream, my ex-girlfriend was out in the middle of the street. it was like my cousin's vecindad en el D.F. she was just being dumped by her man or something. she looked at me embarassed. it was strange. i got this feeling of being sad for breaking up with her. i walked to her and told her i was sorry. sorry for all the things i did. there was an overwhelming feeling of love for her. i walked up to her and told her how sorry i was. i also told her that i missed her and that i loved her. her place had rope ladders to go to her apt. it was strange. they kept bringing them up and down. i thought. well...that is just counterproductive. shortly after this. we sat down at lunch or dinner. i am not sure which one. i mouthed to her that i loved her.

we then had to go to some building and there was shooting and i turned in to Jack Bauer from 24. there were lights and investigators and shootings. i think i had to move the people around me. it was strange and fun. i have been dreaming a lot. some have been vivid. some have just been emotional. i dont mean like crying or anything. i just mean like i am left with an emotion afterwards.

the feel of something new...

i should be working. i know. instead...i blog about something new. you know what i miss. i miss the feeling of something new. ok...i mean more the relationship. be it a new baby, friend, lover, or toy. i think i miss that the most. i have tried all the obvious things to refreshen our life. trust me. i have. you name it...i have tried it. keep in mind i have a budget. i mean who does not. this is me just thinking. i know...stop thinking so much. trust me if you can turn off my brain then great. i would like that please.

Am I less of a man because of it?

Co-worker...the one i can't stand. Ok...I confess there is a handful of co-workers that I can not stand. This one in particular is Shady R. She thinks I am not a man cause I am not that into sports. She is retarded. There other things in life. Do not get me wrong I am excited about the Bears? Hell...I hope they win. It is going to be off the hook. Pero no voy a vivir del juego como algunos fanaticos.

el amor callado

I look at her and kiss her.
Those soft luscious lips.
They make me feel complete.
Transfering her life energy to me.
Breathing it in.
Nurturing her in my arms.
Letting my soul heal her.
While she heals me.

la veo y la beso.
esos labios tan llenos y delicados.
me hacen completo.
pasando su energia a mi.
tomo su esencia.
acariciandola en mis brazos.
dejando que nuestras almas se curen.

retarded over love

the name Alma Gomez. wow!! i would venture to say she was one of my longest crush. i have always been a little retarded about love. lets just say i never stepped up to her. i never told her how i felt. i just remember having a huge crush on her.

little history...i kissed her when i was in kindergarten. maybe she kissed me. i can never remember that far back. ok...she kissed me sounds more like it. i am quite afraid of women. i realized this when i was talking to Sonrisa. we were "boyfriend and girlfriend". how much of that is true or in my head? hell...i will never know. i just remember holding hands with her. it was pure and innocent. flash forward to about 1st grade and you find me going to another classroom and she went to another classroom. being young and dumb. well...the romance ended. if you can call it that. flash forward to about 4th grade. me still pining for her. catch glimpses of her walking around in my neighborhood. she lived on ashland and chestnut. hell...that is a whole 'nother world!! it was never meant to be. i just remember still liking her when i was in 7th grade. she eventually transfered out of our little school Elizabeth Peabody Grammar School. i never saw her again. the name was etched into my memory. Alma Gomez.

I came across this name while working on some files. She left me a voicemail. I am returning her call. I am sure not the same girl. Well...Alma, if you are out there. Give me a call. The universe has me lifted under S for Santiago.

this one is about sex...

you have been warned!! no haters allowed. the recent topic of my conversation has revolved around sex. some are not getting it. some are. some want more. some are getting more. the point is. some just lost their virginity. that was an intersting conversation. why? well...she still thought she was a virgin. naive...i think so. it is great to meet these people. they are quite funny.

one thing you have to understand about me...people feel comfortable telling me things. unsolicited information. if you are my friend, then it is ok. if your a stranger, it is ok too. it is always intersting if a stranger tells me things and trust me they have. i think it is because they feel i do not judge them. i rarely ever do. it is not my place to judge people.

ok...the point of this post. are you a virgin if there is no penetration? i think you are a virgin until they have intercourse. call me old fashion. figure i would let you bloggers weigh in on this one. thanks for playing. have a good day.

Ok...who hit the reset button.

Well...here goes. The first entry of the year. I have been absent trying to recover my mind. It had gotten lost in the celebrations of the old dying year. Lots of things are going on. I guess it is about time I blow the lid of some well contained secrets.

First one, our family is having another baby. Yes...you heard me. It is like holy crap, "Who let him procreate?" The worst part is more than once. LOL!!! Yes...our new addition to the family will be February 28, 2007. It all depends on when he wants to come. It is going to be a baby boy. Exciting, huh!! I am going to be a father of three. I will be taking off from work for two months to help around the house. I am so not looking forward to that. I am and am not. If that makes any sense. I am totally like nervous. Any minute I will start crying like a little girl in the corner. Ok...I am just kidding.

I am no longer content in my place at work. Chanclita already knew that. I believe they punked me out on that one a while back. Her and Sonrisa rode me about switching carreers. Chicago needs a blogger bash and soon. Anything to go and have a drink with these guys. I have a huge bottle of red wine and no corkscrew. I know...flashback to me and Sonrisa hunting for a corkscrew at the opening of Chanclitas first place. Good times. Good times.

I got into a conversation with Pilsen girl. She told me some secrets that I am not planning on spilling here, but I did end up accepting an invitation to go to a strip club with her. I don't think it will happen. Trust me. I have been invited to go to a strip club with other girls. Those invitations have not been fulfilled. Ok...let me know what is going around your neck of the woods. I miss you all. Take care. Signing off now.