The one with the dream.

Let's see if I can remember it. I was riding down what looks like Milwaukee Ave. Sonrisa is with me. We are both on our bikes. As we come down the street, we reach a building that looks like a art space/gallery. It turns out to be a spa place. We decide to go in because by some magic way we know Salma Hayek and some other hot altina is in there. Of course, I am all about seeing Salma Hayek (thanks Joel...I think it is due to your post). We are in there and we see these two latina beauties talking and I am all of a sudden inside and completely naked. We were both naked. Sonrisa and I. So...I panic because I am naked. Although...I could not see your nakedness, Sonrisa. Sorry...you were just an incidental. So...I am trying to look for a robe, because I do not want them to see me naked. I go looking in the back and could not find a robe. Eventually I end up leaving. Somehow with clothes and all. Sonrisa is still with me. We go and now are driving down the street. We come upon a scary little building and so by this time we are joined by a couple of thug looking people. This is where it gets a little crazy. We are breaking into the persons house looking for...I don't know what we are looking for? Chaos ensues and I wake up.

I had to post it. Sorry Sonrisa.

Verper's Lot

I really do not know what the title has to do with anything. It popped into my head. I do not really now what it means. Oh well...here is a little something I have been working on.

Mi segunda piel

no quiero cerrar los ojos
borrarte de mi vista
solo quiero sentirte cerca
nuestros cuerpos juntos
uniendo los corazones
el olor de tu piel
me hace pensar en flores
me acerco a probarte
probar tus labios con los mios
acariciar tu bello rostro
tocar tu pelo con mis dedos
mis labios exploran tu cuerpo
con besos que te alaban
te siento temblar
extremeciendo con el gusto
coqueteo contigo
soplando en tu nunca
escucho tu placer
y me hace loco
sigo con los placeres
los que te hacen gruñir
con gusto acercando
a un nivel de orgasmo
pero disminuyó
para que sigas disfrutando
que sientas el placer
se que te impacientas
pero no es tiempo
quiero verte extremecerte
entre mis manos
entre mis labios
con mis dedos
para que regreses pidiendome mas

Lost Days

I am dreaming of the warmth of spring. I am waiting for the cold to thaw out. I want to break on thru to the other side. Well...actually I just want to start riding my bike again. I really miss it. I miss the way my body feels after a ride. It is loose and relaxed. I really need to start training for the ride by exercising. It is hard to do with such a crazy kid-oriented schedule. Also...who the hell wants to come home and do much of anything.

My car is giving me trouble. I really do not have money to fix it. I do not want to deal with a mechanic that does not know what is going on and will tell me I need something I do not. My car is running, but it cuts off on me. My uncle tells me that it may be some of the valves that let air into the car's engine. Pero quien sabe. I know I do not know. I need to win the lottery or get a new car. I think getting a new or new to me car is in my reach.

el viejo en el año dos mil

me siento viejo
solo con mis pensamiento
veo al espejo... un hombre acabado
su peinado ya no esta de moda
o tal vez... la cara ya no concuerda
en este dia de correo electronico
y con todos tus amigos
al alcanze de tu mano
todavia mi alma se siente sola
y eso que el mundo es todo para mi
el invierno me congela mi cuerpo
hasta mis viejas entrañas
no me dejan recapacitar
mejor me duermo otra vez.

Open Road

I was driving home the other day down the 55. I was coming from the suburbs. I saw some box cars on the train tracks. I began to think of the book, On The Road by Jack Kerouac. So...I started to day dream. I was wondering what it would feel like to just jump into one of those and ride them until they kick me off. I have also thought of just driving until my car runs out of gas and see how far I can go.

In High School, I would sometimes ride the train or the bus to the end of the line. I could have been more productive doing something else, but instead I would day dream on the blue line. I guess I have always been a sort of dreamer. I have always been out seeking adventure. I miss those worry free days.

There has always been sort of dichotomy existing in me. I have viewed myself as a loner before...at least, I thought I was a loner. I remember leaving my school...ok, I was cutting and taking a trip downtown. I would sit on the shore and sketch the lakefront. I would write in a lost sketch book. I say lost because I know I would never see that book again. Hell...I don't even know where it could be. The dichotomy lies in the fact that I had a conversation with an old high school friend of mine. She told me that I was quite popular. I reflected for a second and thought, No, I was not. I thought of all those times me luggin around my walkman walking alone and listening to Material Issue, The Cure, and Ministry. Maybe I was exxagerating. I can say one thing, I did not discriminate. I was friends with Gangsters, Goth-Chicks, Taggers, and a couple people from the Dance Crews aka the popular people. Where does this all come from? I guess from watching the Beauty and Geek Show. I am trying to decide what I was. I know I was not the Beauty. I must have been the Geek. Well...happy friday to all of you.

I'm starting to Hate V Days too.

We went out to Lonestar as planned. It was all good. Until...they tell us that there is a 1hr and 45 min. wait. What? There is a 2 hr. wait. We were all hungry. I was gnawing on my sleeve. This is how hungry I was. My daughter had her heart set on this place. She started to cry. I was like there is no reason why this place has to be packed like it is a Saturday night. I thought of Sonrisa and said Damn this V day. F all these bastards. After about 10- 15 minutess of dramatics in Lone Stars and Applebees parking lot both from my daughter, son, and lets be honest myself, we decide to go to Applebees right next door. It was either Applebees or Old Country Buffet. I would have rather gone to OCB. It was close to the house and they also have steak.

Flashback to a call on the way home. Me franticly trying to call my wife to see what is going on. I call the house three times, no answer. I call her cell phone twice, no answer. Say to myself, "puta madre para que tiene celular!!!" I calm down and decide to listen to my music. By the way, traffic was like at a stand still. I was like come on people. I know it is V-Day, but get your asses home and stay there. Raised fist in the air I say, "Damn these capatalist pigs!!!" Finally the phone rings. It was her. She tells me,"So...where do you want to go?" I was like, "We already have reservations." Okay....I really did not say that because we did not have reservations, but I have always wanted to say that all dramatic. Okay, back to reality. At this point, I know she does not want to go to Lone Star. I tell her that this is her day and she can decide where we go. So...we agree that we will decide when I get home. At home we talk in code, OCB has now come to be known as B. Just B and Lone Star is now the usual place. We also go to a couple of other places and they are named the place around the corner or by central or by whatever street they are at. These kids are too bright and have cracked some of our earlier codes. Anyway, OCB comes out on top. As we we jump in the car on the way to OCB, she then decides to ask the kids. Where do you want to go OCB or LoneStar? I nearly get whiplash as I turn to her. I was pushing for OCB. It would have been cheaper. They also have steak. The kids decide they want Lone Star.

So...we are back at the parking lot of Applebees. My son is like let's just go with such determination like he is driving the car. My daughter is like "Josh, we have to try this place out, okay." with such a serious face. We do another Ok...is it going to be OCB or Applebees after we find out is a 45 minute wait. I am thinking we should just go home or at least OCB. Hell...I'll be happy at McDonalds. After all it is not about me, so I kept this all to myself. We get seated and have our food. The food sucks. Well...it is not up to my standards. Again, I was preparing for some steak. Anyway, thru the whole night I am thinking about Sonrisa's comment about hating Valentine's Day. I guess my point is...she has won me over.

So...bloggers let us unite in a effort to do an anti-V day. Let us to tell our significant others that we really do love them and that they can take their capitalist pig holiday and shove it. Wait...the we love them part to our significant others and the shove it to the capitalistic pigs. I tell you I am so ready for a revolution. There will be riots in the streets. Protestors chanting F#$% V-Day. We don't want your bullshit holiday. Okay sorry about that guys. It got away from me there.

Cupid's Fatal Mistake

He let Hallmark take over his holiday. At any rate, I love you all.

Depressed Slut that could not be.

Welcome back to our program. I am your host Santiago. Today, we will be covering the many in depth emotions of an emotional man. Hence forth the title of today’s episode on A Day in the Life of Santiago, Depressed Slut that could not be. You know it is kind of interesting. The title really kind of grabs your attention. I should have been working in radio. I am not pretty enough to be working on television. Jajajajajaj. I had to laugh at myself a little there. Well…I have had conversations with friends and also read Joel’s Book Slut post and thought why not write about these conversations.

Geez…how do I begin? I am always falling in love with one woman or another. See…I really should not be. Maybe I am being too idealistic. The reason I say this is because I am married. I really am happily married. Well…I think I am for the most part or she tells me we are. I’m sorry I had to chuckle at that one too. I really feel like I should not have any of these sorts of strong feelings for any other females. I was talking to J-Rod, a female co-worker, who should really be a man. She has some really outrageous ideas about life and men and women for that matter. She has labeled me a slut. Although, she does call my boy El Poli 47 a slut too. At any rate, I was thinking that maybe I could be. I also had a conversation with Sonrisa about being a slut too. She knows I am not a slut. I do not want to paint a picture of me sleeping around with women or anything like that. Sonrisa told me that even if I had a body like (insert your favorite hot guy) I would not be a cheater or a slut. I do not have the guts to do it.

So…why do I fall in love with all these different woman? Maybe I need attention. According to Chanclita, it does always have to be about Santiago. Maybe she is on to something. Maybe I am not in love with them at all. It could be that my brain is messing with me. Maybe I am in lust with them all. After all there are a lot of beautiful women running around this world and in my immediate environment. Damn you women for being so desirable. By the way, I am not a stalker, but what I am about to say or write will make me sound like a stalker. I see all these pretty woman in cute outfits and they look really nice. Okay…they look hot. I flashback to the Kids in the Hall skit with the gay guys saying, “She’s hot!!!” I put the she part in there. They usually say he is hot. They may work in the same office or the other office down the street. I also have some really hot friends. I usually do not tell them that because they say, “Oh you are married and you should not be thinking like that.” It was a funny conversation. Echo G was telling Ella that I was always hanging out with some really hot girls. In college, Echo would say, Santiago was a pimp. He always had the hook-up with the girls. The girls would just follow him. I look at Echo and tell him that he is crazy. Although I have to agree with Echo G on this one. I was hanging out with a lot of very pretty women. They just happen to talk to me. After all I was friend with Sonrisa. She is beautiful.

Finally, the depressed part is because I have been a little down lately. I do not know why that is. It could be the weather. Cabin fever and all sorts of other little things.

El misterio de Elle

Elle leans in
whispers in my ear,
"I miss you"
sending the shivers
up and down my spine.
My body tingles
at her touch.
My lips touches hers
connecting on so many levels.
Electricity rushes thru me...
my heart races.
My mind reels in emotion
I caress her body.
Hear her slow rumbling voice...
uttering a moan
as i touch her beautiful breast
gliding my hand down her back
trying to feel every inch of her
like i was unlocking a great mystery.

Fresh Fallen Snow

crawled out of the abyss
staggered over to my metal horse
what to my surprise
light white fluff...
was being sprinkled on my life
the tune was Letter to Elise
coloring the mood
"as fast as I pick it up"
"it falls away thru my clutching hands"
makes me appreciate
the love...
and life.

Solo Flights: The Saga Continues...

I remember getting a lot of response about this. In addition, I am a little hesitant of revisiting this topic because as some people have mentioned," We are now meeting these people". I am a little mixed about what they may think. Part of me is like, "Well...these are human emotions, right?" Well...let us pay tribute to the play we will be seeing tonight...S-E-X-Oh.

There are various things at play here. There are a lot of things influencing my thoughts. One is I have started to work out. This means I feel good about me and that leads to another thing. You know all the jazz that comes with being healthy. Also...my wife has been very much "on", if you get what I mean. So...this means yay for me. It means I am getting lucky a lot more. I can usually tame the wild beast within me when there are droughts. Pero que hago cuando te dan el pan mas de una o tres veces a la semana. Cuando te lo quitan sigues con la tentacion. Finally, I have a drive that pretty much is "on" at all times. I wonder if this is due to the fact that I am a man.

It could very well be. Chicana on the Edge seems to think we are walking erections. To some extent it is true. I know I have touched upon this subject before in a previous post. It is like we are driven to the idea. We turn on the television and there is a Superbowl Commercial with women in scantily clad clothing. It is like "why are you surprised I am thinking about naked chicks?" Apparently, the Go Daddy Commercials were real popular. I wonder why. He he he!! Sorry...I was getting a little sidetracked. Well...I do not want you guys to think I am a sex crazed maniac. Well...maybe I am but I am a "in love-romantic" sex crazed maniac. I guess I just can't help myself.

So...why all this information. I have lost the fight with temptation in solo flight. I am a bad man. I am a very bad man (Seinfeld Reference) I am no longer master of my domain, King of the Castle, Lord of the manner. I guess this is more of a confessional. You can have your opinion about this topic.

Panda

Cuando No Es Como Deberia Ser


View more video clips at Yashi

la mujer sin cara

te llamo por nombre...
suplicó que me ames
y no solo seas el fantasma
que me sacrifica...
en el altar del amor

vienes con libertad
y veo como brilla el sol
por tu piel canela
el viento que se lleva tu pelo negro
acariciandote como a las flores

de pronto desapareces
y sigue mi saga
de otra vez buscarte
entre las caras
de muchas mujeres

All Systems are Clear...

Return to your positions. (this is a command given to the Genome Soldiers, once the danger or intruder alert was contained in Metal Gear Solid) Metal Gear was a video game I used to play back in times when I had more time. This last week seemed to be the week that everyone's life went into a bit of chaos. I am all about the chaos, but last friday I had a little bit of a melt down. Proving once again that there is more than corn in Indiana (sorry...I had a brain fart there). Sometimes when I am talking to friends and family my brain seems to insert old commercials or some old saying that a comedian or program may have had. I do not know why that is. Well...at any rate I am regain my scrupples and everything is back to normal. Well...as normal as it can be considering it is me.

I went to church on Saturday. My kids are in catholic school and they have family mass every last saturday at their church. I can not help but think that I am a hypocrite for standing in that church doing the Hail Mary and Our Father and I am not even a catholic. By the way, I am forbidden to take the eucharist by my wife. I am not allowed to take it. I can not stress that enough. I feel terrible that my daughter asks me to go and I have to tell her I have not confessed my sins. I have not gone to confessional. My wife uses that excuse all the time. My daughter used to buy it at first, but she is slowly starting to question that excuse. At what point in time, do I tell my daughter or kids for that matter that I am not catholic. Well...that was a little crisis of conscience.

Well...in other news, I have taken up the torch of making capuccinos. I need to do a little more research on it. Review various recipes and try to come up with my own recipe. I have made two or three cups and so far the misses has enjoyed them. I sometimes wonder if she is telling me the truth. I want her honest opinion. This way I can improve the recipe. So far, this is my recipe: a shot or two of espresso (i may need to purchase new coffee), two tbsp of cocoa, about a cup of milk (lactaid or 2% milk), and a 2 tbsps of sugar. My wife says it is good. She thinks I should get a job at Starbucks. I usually make them for her when she is on her way to work. Again, she works the graveyard shift. So...she needs an extra little kick. I have nothing else to report. I hope all systems are clear in your life.

So...I've been tagged by Sonrisa

Three books I can read over and over:
The Hobbit- J.R. Tolkien
100 años de soledad- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
The Catcher in the Rye- J.D. Salinger

Three places I've lived:(all in Chicago)
Noble Sqare
Cicero
Damn, I could only get two.

Three TV shows I love:
Smallville
Friends
Coupling

Three highly regarded and recommended TV shows that I've never watched a single minute of:
24
The OC
Objetivo Fama

Three places I've vacationed:
Florida
Mexico
Cape Cod

Three of my favorite dishes:
Chiles Rellenos
Caldo de Res
Arrachera

Three sites I visit daily:
Yahoo Games
download.nl
Bankone.com


Three places I would rather be right now
Mexico.
Any place warm.
California. (just to see what the craze is all about)

Three bloggers I am tagging:
Who ever wants to do it can.

SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM!!!!!!!!!

The title was more meant to be heard than read. I have a really good life. It is a little routine and mundane, but it has its moments of excitement. I guess I should explain a little.

It is my morning drive, I am taking the kids to school and start to jam to non other than Fobia. I am rocking out. I call my sister-in-law as I am driving down the 55 and invite her to go to Caribou for some coffee. Turns out she is still at home. There was a great deal of hesitation in calling her. I don't really know why, but there is. She does not go into work until 9. So...she is still at home getting ready. I am about to get off on Roosevelt and Taylor. I go to Caribou anyway and get a cup of mocha cappuccino(sp?).

Who decides to call me while turning onto Halsted? My high school friend Echo G. It is a blast from the past. We start to go over our formality about how we are doing and all that jazz. Once we are done with that he asks me, "Are you alone?" I am and he proceeds to tell me about a mutual friend of ours. I will call her Ella. Ella and I had just gone out a couple days ago. Ella was one of those girls that has not been on my playing field. She is my Salma Hayek in a not so hollywood format. Ella has all the right smiles, the good looks, and great body. The killer thing is she talked to me. We were friends and she sort of kind of even flirted with me. I knew nothing was ever going to come of it. I am totally aware of that for many reasons. I was okay with that. I had made my peace with it. Well...it turns out Echo G had been kind of fooling around with her before he got married. I scream inside. I die a little and play a like it is not affecting me. So...we go into a reliving of what he did with certain people and all his little escapades. I half listen while the wheels are turning in my head. My heart slowly starts to shrivel and lose its power to pump blood. All of a sudden I need a cigarette. Those two had been messing around. I know I was not with Ella, but I had asked her about him. She said they were just friends. Why does this affect me this much?

Well...here is the deal. Echo G has already done this to me with another girl. He did the same thing with Sol. Sol...I took it personal. He really new that I had strong feelings for her. This was before I was married. Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggg!!! It really burns me up. Okay...here is what I am thinking. Good go have your fun. I completely understand you. Ella is beautiful. All I ask is you don't tell me. What I do not know does not hurt me? Well...here is what is playing out. Echo G will travel somewhere for business and Ella has been contacting him. Ella has been thinking about Echo G for some time. In other words, they may end up hooking up. Thousands of explicatives come to mind. I did not need to know any of this information. Echo G go and have your fun. Ella go and have your fun. Why get me mixed into all this. Why does it affect me so much? I really could not tell you. I have danced with Ella and she can move and she is as I mentioned earlier my Salma Hayek. I feel a sort of loss in my heart. I know I would never have had a chance with her. Maybe it is the mix of Echo G and Ella. The thought hurts.

This too shall pass....

la mujer de azul

te digo que me gustas
perdon mejor tu blusa azul
me respondes que te hace mirar mas bella
well...the term hot came up
le digo que no la necesita
ya eres bella
el espejo no miente
lo se con certeza.

I want to be a rock band

Hola,

I was driving in to work and thinking about a whole lot of things. Some of these things are trivial and some are actual real issues. We shall see if they come out here. I was writing in my head because it is a little dangerous to write and drive on the 290 Expressway. I'm sure it can be done, but why risk it. I managed to think of two different poems, but they evaporated as I was driving. I could not write them down. I thought about Mariposa, she once suggested to buy a digital recorded to dictate my thought and poems. This would be really helpful in these moments.

I was listening to Fobia. I was really upset on Thursday. I found out Fobia, a totally rocking spanish rock band put out a new album. They have not put out a record for about 10 years. They put out there record and it is only available in Mexico. Isn' that a b$#%!?? Well...it took me all weekend, but I managed to download about 5 songs from this album. I have to thank God for the internet. I was already planning a trip to Mexico to buy the CD. I know, I am crazy.

In other news, I was really thinking about how grateful I am to have Sonrisa in my life. I was being thankful in general to all the bloggers that I now consider friends. Sonrisa and I have considered making a trip out to visit Joel/DC in Maryland. I'm not sure this will happen, but I would really love to get to meet all these people that comment on my blogg. I have to thank Lolo for putting me onto this. I would have never known anything about blogging if it was not for my friend.

So...here I am riding into work feeling really happy. The sun is shining. I think. I am listening to Fobia and thinking about all these things. Let me see if I can remember some of the lines for the poems.

I want to be a rock band (this was the title)
listen to the voice
that signature voice
moving masses
inspiring to riot and revolt
against the establishment

that is as far as i got.

I was also working on an english version of "la noche con ella" and maybe some editing of the spanish version. I want to incorporate more emotion and hopelessness.

i wanted to flesh it out a little more. we shall see if i get time to do this or not.

Hunt for the Great Burrito

I have been searching for a place that specializes in burritos. The place I used to go to has changed their recipe. It is not the same taste. They used to have a certain char-lemony-natural meat flavor. It was magical. I have had about three diffrent burritos from different places and they have not come to par with that burrito. It is really quite sad for me.

In other news, I have fallen behind in reading bloggs. It is hard when I take time off to read them at home. Maybe I need to buy a laptop. I do not really need to buy one, but I am thinking about it. I would like one just to have one. Just like Joel and the Ipod...I have to face the do I really need one or do I just want one. I hope I get back up to speed in the next coming days.

la noche con ella

deseo vivir...sera con ella
sentirla
su piel canela
durante nuestro baile
en esta bella noche

mano a mano
intento penetrar
su armadura
llegar a su corazon
latiendo
dentro de su pecho
quiero estar mas cerca de ti
te veo a los ojos
encandilado
como si fueses una sirena
me llamas hacia mi final
con una sonrisa
y yo con mi deseperanza
que no llego